It happened again. Upon running an errand with my children, we
heard the ever-so-popular comment: “Boy, you have your hands full,” not once,
not twice, but four times while in the store for 20 minutes.
I had to make a mid-morning run to the store with all four
children in tow. After making sure
everyone’s face was clean, I supervised two kids putting on socks shoes while
wrangling the other two squiggly children to put their respective footwear on. Four coats were on and zipped. Four hats were secured to their heads. Four car-seats were buckled in place, and we
were off. Upon opening the van door, I
discovered we were missing shoes, hats, socks, and somehow an arm had been
de-sleeved. I did the best I could to
re-dress the kids to get them in the store.
We pulled up the cart, baby in front, toddler in back, with each
big boy holding on to a side. They know
the drill. They hardly ever make errands
difficult. They don’t ask for anything,
don’t whine, don’t run away. The biggest
problem is the getting there…still dressed.
My two-year old started singing his rendition of “Polly Wolly Doodle All
the Day,” and the baby started clapping.
As we happily walked down an aisle, a man said “Whoa, you have your
hands full!” in a tone much less than encouraging.
I’m sort of used to this. We
either get that comment or “Are these all yours?” We pressed on. Two aisles later, an older woman said “Oh my
goodness, look at all these children!
Poor mom!” I graciously smiled,
and my kids grew quiet. On our way to
checkout, another little one said “Look mom!
Baby!” To which she replied, “Yes,
and a lot of other kids too! You sure do
have your hands full, you poor thing.”
Finally, at the checkout, the store employee had the double-whammy: “Are all these yours?” Yes. “Boy, do you have your hands full! You guys better be good for mommy!”
Now, like I said, I’m sort of used to this. But it always had bothered me. Yes, there are days when I don’t sit
down. There are moments of frustration
when all I want to do is cry. There are
times when one of the kids have to wait for me because I’m doing something with
another, and that gets emotionally challenging.
But, truth be told, I felt like this when I had just one!
When we got home from the store, my 6 year old asked, “Mom,
are you o.k.? You’re hands are full and
I think that’s a bad thing.” You see,
people make these comments as if I’m walking around with children who have no
ears, no brains, no common sense. These
strangers’ comments are slowly teaching my children about how society views
children. Poor mom. What a burden. Don’t
you have any time for yourself? Slowly,
these thoughts and comments seep into little minds who have began questioning
their importance to me and to others.
After my son’s comment, I gathered my boys and we had a big
hug that turned into a cuddle. I told
them that my hands were full, but not
the way all those people at the store think.
I told them, as I held them tight, my hands were full of love, and joy,
and silliness, and amazing gifts that were just for me.
In my short time as a mom, I have learned much about what
society thinks about children. They are
a financial burden, a handful, a problem for mom. I suppose I can view these comments as ways
to sympathize with me, but in reality, I’m not in mourning! I’m alive because of my kids. Unfortunately, every time we leave the house,
they are exposed to this rhetoric, and they’re starting to listen and
learn.
My heart was heavy last night as I went to bed. How,
Lord, can I teach them that they are not a burden, but a blessing. The answer came this morning. We opened our Bible and the story we were
scheduled to read was “The Friend of the Little Children” taken from various
parts of the Gospels, Matthew 18 and 19, Mark 10, and Luke 18. I love how The Jesus Storybook Bible put it.
After arguing who was the most important in God’s kingdom, the disciples
watched as a group of children ran to Jesus.
“Jesus’ helpers tried to send them away. ‘Jesus doesn’t have
time for you!’ they said. “He’s too
tired.’ But they were wrong. Jesus
always had time for children. ‘Don’t
ever send them away!’ Jesus said. ‘Bring the little ones to me.’”
Sounds familiar. Poor Jesus, he’s too tired for such a
handful. Can you imagine as the
onlookers watched these energetic little ones climb onto a tired Jesus’ lap
asking him to tell them a story. Boy, does he have his hands full! Boys and girls, you better be good for him!
“Well, after all the laughing and games, Jesus turned to his
helpers and said, ‘No matter how big you grow, never grow up so much that you
lose your child’s heart: full of trust in God.
Be like these children. They are
the most important in my kingdom.’”
You should’ve seen the look on my oldest son’s face as I
read these words. It was as if relief
had come to his worried mind. It wasn’t
just me who said he wasn’t a burden, but Jesus said it himself! I am not to be pitied, but rather I should be
regarded as a very blessed woman! I get to spend my days and nights with the
most important in His kingdom! Most of
the time, however, we are received in a very different manner. What an upside down kingdom we live in.
Children are a lot
of work. Remember the 8 shoes 8 socks, 4
coats, 4 hats that lasted about 10 minutes of travel? In order to have them behave in a store,
there was much training involved. There
are tantrums, bad attitudes, and more physical labor than I could have imagined. But there is joy, laughter, hugs and
kisses. And though they are not always
innocent, and though they are not always wise, they are pure in heart. And the pure in heart will see God.
I cannot control what people say, but I will relentlessly be the voice
that is constantly whispering the truth in their ears: they are not a burden,
but a gift and the closest thing to real joy and love this side of glory.
I love it, Amy. I love all your blogs. Now, please teach me the training you did to get your children to behave while running errands. I haven't figured that one out yet. -Tab
ReplyDeleteOh Tab, yours are still so young! It'll get easier! My little ones are easier because they watch their big brothers...we'll talk ; )
DeleteI would hug you if I could! Last March, we went from a family of 4 to a family of 8 and we get the "your hands sure are full" to "are you insane" all the time! Great post!
ReplyDeleteOh Deborah! Here's a hug right back at you! You are a blessed woman with many little treasures! God knew what He was doing by giving you these precious ones to love on-not insane, but so wise!
ReplyDelete