Monday, March 4, 2013

Lessons Learned On Our Crazy Monday

Things I learned today:
  1. If you fail to turn on the dishwasher before bed with 4 little kids, there will be no clean plates or forks for breakfast.
  2. When emptying the canister on the bagless vacuum, it would be wise to do so away from the crawling baby and curious toddler.
  3. If wisdom eludes you regarding item #2, you can actually vacuum a crawling baby and curious toddler.
  4. If you are able to teach kindergarten phonics and first grade math without an interruption from said baby and toddler, you are not enjoying peace, but rather something is wrong, and baby and toddler will have to be cleaned up….again.
  5. Toddlers who have kidney issues still must give urine samples…they tape a bag to his “region” and tell him to pee.
  6. A toddler with said bag does not like the way it feels and will refuse to pee.
  7. While waiting for a bagged toddler to urinate in a small dr.’s office with 4 small children, it is wise to have plenty of diaper wipes handy for the baby, in case of explosion, books for older children, and candy to bribe the toddler with.
  8. If wisdom has eluded you regarding item #7, a 4 year old is able-bodied to wet paper towels and hand them to you in a pinch for a diaper explosion, thereby also occupying him, and cough drops are good stand-ins for candy bribes.
  9. McDonald’s Hi-C will not make a toddler pee any faster.
  10. After 2 ½ hours of effort, ¼ tank of gas, and two crying children, a toddler will wait until you return home, take off your shoes and coats, and put the baby down for a nap to finally relieve himself.
  11. If you, in the middle of all the morning’s chaos, failed to turn the dishwasher on in the morning, there will still be no clean plates or forks.
We have to laugh to get us through this Monday!!  Happy Monday-hope yours is less eventful!!

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