It’s been a hard week. But today, I am glad. I am glad because I have a God who goes before me, who knows what my heart needs to prepare me for what is to come, and who has given me everything I need to deal with things I do not even know are about to occur. All I need to do is listen and obey. Still, with all of that, life gets hard.
In the last week, we’ve dealt with family issues, parenting issues, health issues…and just when I told the Lord that I’m at my breaking point, my sweet baby girl who sleeps 12 hours a night went quite a few nights wide awake. Lack of sleep makes any trial, big or small, much harder to handle. Yet, in the middle of all the chaos, I’ve done something that I’ve never done in such a busy season… I made every effort to hear my first love’s voice, whether that be through a radio program, worship song, book, or carrying around a Scripture scribbled in crayon in my pocket. Just when I felt that I had no strength, God has been so faithful to speak. This is a good thing, because I realize that I need to fill up on the things of God so that I can pour them back out on my kids.
I’ve been chewing on a few pieces of Scripture for a couple of weeks now, not knowing why they seem so rich to me. I feel like I could write forever about what I’ve learned from 1st and 2nd Peter these past few weeks. Right now, I feel like every verse waters my soul.
I often feel like I’m coming up short in so many ways…my floors are dirty, my child is throwing a tantrum about everything, I missed somebody’s birthday…and don’t get me started about my hair, makeup, or clothes! And when it rains, it pours. When life gets rough, and trial after trial hits, all these inadequacies pile up and become giant insecurities that eat at me. I’m not alone in this, right? Those thoughts and feelings of inadequacy that we battle with suddenly become more real, and we may even start believing them. Why? Because it’s hard to believe that we are adequate when our floors really are dirty, our kids are misbehaving, we’ve been so busy trying to take care of our family’s lives that we have missed out on being a part of others.
2 Peter 1:3 tells us that “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” In these long moments of feeling inadequate, I have to remember that I have everything I need to help me with life, but only through my knowledge of Him. If I’m not making God the Lord of my life, checking in with Him, listening to Him, and letting him gently lead me, then I don’t get the benefit of having everything I need! This is hard to do for so many reasons: pride, time, energy, physical limitations. But again, His word says to “make every effort…so that we are effective and productive.”
So this is my wife and mommy pledge of the week: I’m battling those lies that daily seem to creep up and accuse me of being an inadequate wife, mother, and friend. I’m committing to make every effort to add to my faith goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness, and love. (2 Peter 1:5-7) I’m preparing my mind (however tired it may be!) for action, being self-controlled, and setting my hope fully on the grace given to each one of us when Jesus is revealed! (I Peter 1: 13) And even when I fail, when there are short comings, I will remember that the most important thing is to love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. (I Peter 4:8)
It is a great comfort to know that we have a God who is sovereign. He gives us the family, children, situations, and challenges in our life and everything that we need to live our lives to bring Him glory. If you’re a mom and you’re reading this, you are blessed and loved. You are doing a great job at loving your family. Because you are constantly being poured out to serve your family and friends, press in and find time to hear His voice so that He can fill you up. If you are a husband, keep your tank full as well and make sure that you wash your wife in the Word. We, as parents, have such an important job to faithfully lead the next generation. But we, as children of God, have an even more important goal: to know and love Him with all of our hearts, souls, and strength.